where did that come from???

it's amazing how our mind works! i've been discovering how my mind can compose it's own words and gibberish when i'm half asleep at my desk, esp lately, after starting working regular hours again. my current job requires me to wake up very early, so by the end of the day, i'll be a walking zombie! normally i'll be in a state of stupor by 11pm... and if i still have work to do, that's when all those funny compositions and whatnots will appear! when i look back at my work the next morning, a big question mark will form in my head, "har?! where did that come from???"

and yesterday was the funniest instance! i had just managed to struggle thru till the end, hoping to finish off the last bit and e-mail it out before i call it a night. by then i was so dazed that i had to keep stamping my feet and shaking my head to keep myself from dozing off in my chair... then when i was about the shut down the laptop, i thot to myself, "eh? did i e-mail it out ar?" so i opened up my outlook again to check. in my outbox, guess what i saw???

i dunno y or how, or mayb i was already in dreamland, but i actually e-mailed out my work to mon, with the subject title:
"u never study hor? better sit there, at my new place..."

BIG question mark, right?! i immediately went and called mon over to look! needless to say, i was wide awake instantly and rolling about in laughter!

different, but same also wat...

why is it that when people hear that you're doing part-time freelancing, they'll have this notion that u're loaded? or that u're so mata duitan (money driven - any better equivalent than this?) that one job is not enough, but u'll need to take on a part-time job to get more money?

and why is it that ppl don't take your part-time job seriously? i mean, part-time jobs are always not being given the respect as our regular day job. when u tell someone that u'll need to work late in the office, they'll respect that, and maybe kesian you a bit. u'll be seen as a responsible employee. but when u tell someone that u're so tired because u've been hard at work doing freelance, ppl would ask you, "really need to work so hard meh?", or "earn so much for what?" or "y do u need to do freelance?"?

i don't understand. the 1st reason most of us take on a job is because we need to earn money for a living, right? (note that i used 'most of us', coz i know there are some ppl who works voluntarily or accept minimum wage for causes they believe in). likewise, a part-time job earns us money for a living also wat. so why is it considered a lesser job? just because we don't put on a crisp suit, wear smart shoes and sit in the office?

just so stuff...

too lazy to think in paragraph, so here are things in point form:

1. tired from training whole day yesterday n today. tomorrow another day! *groan*
2. left hand finger tips numb from cello playing, while right arm sore from bow pulling and getting the pressure n angles right
3. getting way too many sms from K... a bit fishy...
4. waiting anxiously for payday (and it's only middle of the month!)
5. still spooked out by Henry in 'Buried Secret of M. Night Shyamalan'. *note: those with astro, look out for it in HBO the next few days (not sure what day). really spooky!
6. dread going back to work on thurs - m sure will have mountains of work waiting...
7. what to wear tomorrow? looks like time to bring out the damned iron...
8. working out the best time for cello practice so as not to provoke annoyed neighbours from making complains to management/throwing rotten eggs at my front door

defeated

i finally decide to go back on a decision i made earlier, due to short-sightedness. it seemed like the right decision then, but now i realize that things are not so simple. guess i have to bow down to reality.

am bogged down by downheartedness and depression lately. guess the pendulum's on a backward swing again. need a good cry... think i'll go back today and dig out my 'leong san pak & juk ying thoi' (butterfly lovers) vcd from my sad movies collection. nothing like a good cry to cheer one up, however ironic it may seem!

only tuesday...

...n already i'm half dead. lots going on in the office now, with my clg going away (lotsa hand-over job) n also the rush for the company magazine dateline. n yesterday, the CEO placed someone in my ex-manager's vacant office, apparently 'to use the pc'. hmm... a spy??? now with only 3 of us left in the dept (not counting the leaving one), the future of the dept is really uncertain. will we be 'eaten' up by other dept? will one of the bosses station his ppl in our dept to 'conquer' yet another dept over to his side (in the 'war' between the CEO n the Chairman)? gosh, seems like we have to wear bullet-proof vests everytime we go to work, coz we won't know who is going to shoot us in the back. WHEN CAN I LEAVE TOO???


also, been bogged down with work since last week. seems like SM loves to give me last minute work, those rushing ones, tx date just around the corner ones... *sigh... but it's a good thing that she's always rushing me lar, coz then i can be really disciplined and not take my own sweet time at it. hopefully i'll be able to get more done this month to make up for the pitiful hours last month (due to cny). but really exhausted. n no time for dates! *sigh... hopefully ppl won't think i'm anti-social or anything...

my weekend

first, i'm gonna blog abt my first ice-skating lesson on fri... it was so great!! so happy... well, i think i did ok, considering it was my first time on the ice. learned how to glide, swivel forward n backwards, n twist forward n backwards... anyway, i'm still getting used to the ice n skates... but i think i'm gonna love it, tho' not the muscle-ache after that! hopefully it'll help burn some fat off my tush! hehehe...

then on sat, had a gathering with some of my ex-colleagues from my ex-company... there were 7 of us present, only 2 still in that company. anyway, was really happy to see them. had a good time talking n gossiping... hehehe... i'm the youngest in the bunch, some of them nearing their 40s n are mommies already! but age doesn't seem to get in the way, as we had a really good time. it's nice to have a bunch of frens to act silly with sometimes, regardless of the age gap. i tell myself i'm gonna be like that too when i'm nearing my 40s or whatever age... hehehe... be young at heart!

and at night, was the emcee for that talk i mentioned in my previous blog... didn't go that well, tho', stumbled with a few words... was so nervous! hmm... i hope i'll get more opportunity to do it in the future. would love to contribute whatever i can and at the same time, train my public speaking skills (n nerves!).

then on sunday nite (yesterday lar), i went back to uni for our choir reunion... even tho' i dunno most of the juniors, but it's nice to meet some of the seniors... really brings back fond memories of our choir days last time... we joined the juniors in their practice, tho' we really sounded awful, coz have not been singing since leaving uni. but it was fun! hehehe... had some good laugh!

so... that's my happy weekend briefly! but with so many activities going on, i regret to say that i'm behind in my work... *sigh...