riding on the efforts of others…

warning: ranting post ahead!

the manipulator

this morning, ms. blackberry* came over and asked me to tune into the internet radio. at first i thought it was an instruction by her boss (the gm), coz we're recently running a radio ad campaign. so i thought the boss wants me to monitor the ad, and asked her to pass on the message. then she added, "it's so boring here. we should have some form of entertainment and music. leave it on, and i'll speak to boss about it."

at first i didn't really catch on that this was her own idea but luckily, i have my earphones semi-permanently attached to my cpu and i was lazy to reach down to unplug it. so i told her it can't be done and asked her to do it from her side. she went back to her desk, but no music came from her pc.

then i realized, "damn, it wasn't the boss's instruction. she just wanted to use me!" damn damn damn!!! if my earphones weren't connected to my cpu, i'd have bodoh-bodoh (malay: stupidly) played the radio and when gm walks pass, he'll think, "wah, this girl so free. enjoying life here." what the hell lah!

*nicknamed as such due to the fact that she's on her blackberry the whole day in the office, facebooking, sms-ing, messaging etc. there's even talk that it's stuck to her hands permanently, like a mutated growth or something!

 

the rider

my company has this staff benefit whereby we are allowed to claim our taxi fare to selected destinations such as a mall or beach park etc. of course, there are conditions but yeah, we have such benefits.

anyway, there's this colleague, yakking yvette, who somehow always refuse to submit for the transportation claims, due to certain reasons that i'm not convenient to divulge here. ok fine, if that's your stand. but then, she'll still happily tag along and benefit from the free transportation whenever we go to those selected destination. so it's ok if other people makes the claim, which benefits you, but it's not ok for you to submit the claim? how hypocrite is that?!

 

the body huggers

in the recent green campaign that took place in m'sia (and even the "cleaning" campaign of last year), i've noticed a category of people among my facebook friends. while most of my friends shared information, videos and links about the issue, some expressing their own opinions and anger on their status updates, take part in impromptu discussions, or even just simply changed their profile photos to show their support to the movement, there were some who decided that they don't want to have anything whatsoever to do with it.

in this time and age, it's impossible that they don't know anything at all about the issue. even if the mainstream media tried to mute it as much as possible, it's all over the internet, on online independent media and facebook. aren't they at least a tiny bit curious as to why is it that most of their friends' profile photos have suddenly taken on a greenish theme? of course everyone would know the significance of it, unless they've been in a coma for the past one year. hence we can safely rule out "ignorance" as the reason.

so why aren't some of them showing any form of acknowledgement to the campaign? don't they care about what is happening to our country? i'm sure they care, coz i know my friends are not cold-blooded people. maybe they feel that it's not happening in their city, hence it has nothing to do with them? or maybe they feel that it's a futile exercise, all these protesting and gathering. after all, it's been approved by the gov. what can we do, right? nothing's gonna change. or maybe they're just afraid? all these anti-this anti-that, what if the authorities decided to take action on those who support the cause? at least they won't be incriminated.

or maybe they think that there are so many others in the bandwagon already. so it's ok for them to berpeluk tubuh (malay: hug their own body - meaning have their arms crossed and not doing anything), coz one more supporter or one less supporter won't really make any difference. after all, i'm not good at talking, i can't express my views so well, i'm this and i'm that, bla bla bla all the excuses in the world... let the others who are more outspoken do all the work and hopefully they'll succeed. then it'll benefit everyone, including ME!

well, i know i can't force anyone to support anything that i believe in or am passionate about but it's really disheartening to see people who don't give a damn about anything. especially if it's something that will and does affect them and their families too! it's not like we're asking them to lead or start something. all these campaigns need are a show of support, even in the smallest gesture, just to let them know that they have our backing and that they're not alone.

 

the planters

there are some people who are very good planters... not of plants, but ideas. they'll try to plant a certain idea into you, and then sorta passed the responsibilities on to you to act on it while they take a seat back and let you do all the work.

once, 2 of my colleagues wanted to go for steamboat at a restaurant and asked me, sweet sheila and yakking yvette if we would like to join. we agreed but sweet sheila wondered aloud if it’s at the same restaurant that she went before. according to her, that restaurant’s steamboat is not nice at all!

upon reaching the building where the restaurant is, sweet sheila confirmed that it was really the same restaurant. so the whole way going up to the restaurant, which was situated at the upstairs terrace of the building, sweet sheila kept telling me how bad the food at the restaurant is. my 2 other colleagues were walking some distance in front of us, so sweet sheila kept trying to convince me to change venue. “trust me, the food there is really bad! it’ll be better if we go to the steamboat at “little lamb”. this restaurant caters mostly to filipinas. not our taste at all! really, you wouldn’t like it!”

she kept right on at it, buzzing non-stop at my ears, that finally i can’t take it anymore. i turned coolly to her and said, “if you want to propose a change of venue, say it out to everybody. stop buzzing around at my ears coz i’ll never open my mouth for you. first of all, it wasn’t me who suggested this place. we are just tagging along. secondly, i’ve not eaten at this place before. so don’t expect me to tell everyone that the food is not nice.” that shut her up nicely for the rest of the night…

another time, yakking yvette was telling me about her roommate's departmental outing and how much fun her roommate had. then she proceeded to sorta complain that our department never does such things and how nice it would be if we could have something like this.

now, if i don't know yakking yvette that well, i'd have jumped right into her trap and say, "let's plan something!" but i saw right through her ploy! if i'd have said that, then the task would definitely be placed upon my shoulders and i'd be the official organizer for the departmental outing.

if it were someone else, maybe i'd have very happily want to plan something TOGETHER. but now i've come to recognize the few "planters" here (through the hard way, unfortunately!), so my answer to their manipulation would be, "good idea! why not you plan one?", making sure to emphasize on the word YOU.

well, in my previous life (meaning life back home lar), i'd probably be very gung-ho in wanting to organize an outing or trip etc. anything the spells FUN! but that also would need to depend on for whom i'm organizing it for. which brings me to my last category of "riders" as per the title of this post...

 

the wait-and-seers

i really hate it when we put so much time and energy and effort into organizing something, only to be met with lukewarm or even cold responses. when we throw ideas around, everyone would be very excited but when the e-mail is sent out, no one would want to be the first to reply. everyone wants to wait and see what other people say. in the end no one will reply, which then makes us feel like we're just syiok sendiri (malay: excited/happy about something only you yourself is excited/happy about).

so nowadays, i'll refrain from organizing anything that involves a big group, unless i know the group is as gung-ho as me. luckily my makan group is always very responsive to foodie-outing proposals, so i don't mind doing that. besides, other members of the group are also always organizing stuff, it's not always organized by me.

for other stuff like shopping, outing or just going for dinner, normally i'll just throw the idea with my artist. if both of us are game for it, then we'll ask anyone who would like to join. if no one else wants to go, we'll just go by ourselves. easy peasy...

and if there's something i'd like to do for say, a celebration or event, i'd do it by myself instead of plan it with someone else and making a big deal out of it. that way, i do it on my own free will, in my own time and capacity, instead of having to wait for others. one good example was what i prepared for a few of my colleagues during valentine's day.

 

phew, ok. that was a long rant... but just getting things off my chest! :)

the note on my front door…

our staff accommodation had another round of pest control the other day, so i left my usual note on my front door. then when i came home from work, i saw that there were some scribbling at the corner of my note.

note on my door…

at first i thought one of my colleagues are making fun of my again, but upon closer inspection, i realized that it’s from the pest controllers.

“good sanitation of all area but only… need clean behind at fridge and washing machine”

hello, did they actually look into my kitchen and see the way my fridge and washing machine are arranged?

the cracks between the fridge and the wall on the right, the build in cabinet on the left and the floor can’t even fit my mop. how to clean lar??? and the fridge is so big that they can’t possibly expect me to move the fridge out from that space every week when i mop…

same goes for my washing machine… got space meh??

but at least they commented on the cleanliness of my place! hehe… :P

love struck... us blind!

what reaction should we give to people who can't seem to stop talking about their boyfriends? it's ok if it's anything interesting, but to repeat every word that their bf said to them??? 

an example is this chat i had with my colleague recently:

me: ur new hairstyle is very nice!

naive evie: thanks! i told kk i cut and coloured my hair (note: kk is her VIRTUAL bf of the same nationality as her, virtual meaning never met before, but have been in a r/ship through internet for 8 years)

me: (bored) then?

NE: i told him earlier i'll go cut hair and he agreed 

me: (in my heart) need to ask permission from bf to cut hair meh?

NE: then he said, "wat??? coloured??? what colour?"

NE: i said, "dark pink"

NE: he said, "wat???"

NE: i said, "yes, sorry is baby pink. look cute"

NE: he said, "tell me u're kidding"

me: :)

NE: i said, "i would like to joke, but sorry for this time"

me: haha... (fake laugh, but really dunno what reply i should give)

NE: only 2 months to go, so he's worried (note: she's going to see him in 2 month's time in australia)

NE: if his grandma, mother and sisters see this........

(yawn) not that i'm a sour grape (for not having a bf myself), but i don't think i need to know the whole conversation between you and your boyfriend in its minute detail lar... especially since i don't know you that well, and i don't know your VIRTUAL boyfriend at all!

i know *NE is not showing off, coz she's actually a sweet girl, but sometimes she tends to go on and on and on about her virtual bf, even the most trivial and most ordinary stuff. maybe she's really excited about her bf and has no one to share her excitement/happiness/joy/whatever with, but she must be really blind not to see the fake smiles pasted on our faces or the disinterest written all over our faces during one of her many ramblings. see, even when i didn't really give any response in the chat, she still happily insisted on me knowing what her kk told her. maybe love really can make us blind... or maybe we're just really good actresses?? :D

*a 24 y/o girl, who naively believed all her virtual bf's sweet words and promises of marriage, of not having to work after marriage, of sending her for further studies in a college in australia (even though their supposed marriage will take place right after he graduate and BEFORE he finds a job), of a bed-of-roses married life etc.

ouch!

recently, a new colleague joined my company. as the office was quite empty when she first came (due to everyone being on leave in this festive season) and she was sitting quite near me, i made friends with her. everyone will feel awkward and self-conscious on their first few days at work, so i kesian her and sort of took her under my wings. and she's so young, so green, tho' a lil over-enthusiastic... but after a couple of weeks, we discovered that she's quite tactless with her words. she's taken to asking us how much we make, how much allowance for this and that we get (even though we're of a different level as her!) and all those confidential things. she also loves to berperang mulut with the guys without giving them face, probably to show how smart she is. she didn't realize that the guys are just being nice and gentlemanly and letting her "win", but of course she can't see that, coz she's too busy being smug! apart from all that, she's also a bit... erm... like how the chinese put it, "talking without digesting her words in her big brain".

(at the hypermart)

tactless tracy: come, let's go buy some snacks

me: ok. i love munching on snacks while watching my drama series at night

tt: me too!

me: but they can be quite fattening

tt: ah, for YOU! (i swear she really stressed that "you" word!) for me, it's ok. i don't get fat

me: *speechless*

ouch!

tt: *looking at my handbag* you bought that from malaysia?

me: yes

tt: nice. malaysia has a lot of nice fake stuff, huh?

me: *speechless*

ouch!

first of all, i don't use fake stuff, ok? i'm not a brand conscious person, but i hate using stuff that carries the brand of something that it is not. i'll be very happy using a cheap pasar malam bag if it's nice enough. secondly, the brand of my handbag is not one of the upmarket brands. why would i wanna buy the fake when its original is not even expensive? the only reason i carry that bag is because i thought i ought to, for the purpose of my job. i choose that brand because it's not terribly expensive, but still it's leather and gives a more professional look that (i hope) matches my position. if it were up to me, i'd probably be carrying a bagpack to work!

anyway, i then looked over at her handbag and noticed for the first time that it's a coach. i don't know if it's an original or fake coach, coz i don't know about these stuff, but at that moment, this thought crossed my mind: "her coach is most probably a fake. that is why she thought everyone else is using fakes too!" hehe... bad, i know but at least i didn't blurt it out into her face! :P

beh-tahan

warning: ranting post ahead!

sometimes, i really wonder at the need of some people to feel good at the expense of others. they'll say sarcastic things, belittle others and be real patronizing, just so that they can feel so high and mighty.

ll: be careful, your parents will ask for more money

me: not my parents. they won't

ll: don't be too sure. they will squeeze all they can from you

me: no, they never did and never will. i've known them all my life

ll: u just wait. it'll happen soon enough

.

.

.

ll: then u must be one rich woman

me: no lar. i'm a spendthrift

ll: what u spend on? you don't pan-leng (cantonese for dress up), car also old car...

me: yeah, but that doesn't mean i don't spend on other things ar...

ll: such as??

me: just stuff. this and that. food

ll: wah, so the kopitiam earn all your money lah? i gotta open a kopitiam soon

me: you're being so patronizing. i don't pan-leng doesn't mean i don't eat good food

ll: where? burj al-arab?

me: so sarcastic! i meant back home lar…

ll: there's expensive food place in m'sia meh? how come i didn't notice?

burj al-arab
*image nicked from http://www.great-beach-hotels.com/index.htm

up to that point, i didn't feel like chatting with her anymore… what a dem bitch, right?? just because i lead a completely different lifestyle from her, she thinks i'm some country bumpkin. in her mindset, only girls like HER – girls who dress up, wear makeup, use all the expensive skin care products etc – are chic and sexy and trendy. girls who are not like HER are all from the kampung, sua-ku, naïve, plain and backward. i really felt like slapping her! and just because her parents are bloodsuckers, she assumes everyone's parents are too! beh-tahan!!!

pet peeve # 813522: people who vote-whore...

warning: ranting post ahead!

one thing that gets on my nerves is the fact that some people are so relentless in trying to get our votes, just so that they can win something. "click to vote for me!" "vote for my baby!" "vote for my pet!" "vote for my neighbour's colleague's brother-in-law's best friend's postman's spotted lizard!"

i mean, do you think i really care? if your baby is super cute, ok, maybe i'll vote for u. it's just a click of a button anyway. or if you're my personal friends and i really love your pets (that i've actually seen and played with when i hangout at your house), fine. but sometimes, there are those whom i barely know, barely speak to... but just because i'm in their friends list, they assume i'd vote for them? ok, some people will vote just to shut you up, coz they're generous that way, but i'm just not one of those people.

and some of these vote-whores are just so relentless! it's ok if you want to vote-whore on your fb wall. it's your fb anyway, so you can do whatever you like, but sending out chat/private messages to everyone in your list? ok, i may forgive you if you send them once. i may even overlook it the second time. but every freaking day for the whole week??? seriously?? how thick skin can you get?

so if you've been vote-whoring and suddenly find me not in your list of friends anymore, now you know why.

p.s: no, i won't vote for spotted lizards (or any lizard at all, for that matter) even if you're my bestest friend in the word. there are limitations in all human relationships and lizards are just not within any of those boundaries :D

round and round we go… not very merry, tho’

i finally applied for an internet connection in my apartment, but went through a whole merry-go-round process that was totally unnecessary! not to mention the amount of money wasted!

ok, here’s the (loooong) story. everyone i talked to (and even in their website), i was told that i’d have to go to the etisalat office to apply for an internet connection. and two of my colleagues even pointed me to the government building near to our apartment, where there’s an etisalat office there.

i was also told that i’d need to have my residency visa first before i can apply. so right after i’ve gotten my residency visa, i made plans to go submit my application. and it being a government building (and etisalat being government-run), i was of the opinion that they follow the normal government office hours. so i waited for my next executive duty* day to go submit my application.

*executive duty is when a manager/director/gm walks about the building after office hours to check on everything and then submit a report on his/her findings the next day. of course, there are other roles and functions, but i don’t wanna bore you with all those stuff. anyway, all managers/directors/gm will go on duty in turns, and on average, each will have 2 days of duty per month. duty starts from 6-11pm, and we’re allowed to come to the office at 12pm the next day.

so the next morning after my duty, with a copy of my visa and passport in hand, i got on a taxi and told the driver, “government building”. he just nodded and started driving. after a while, i asked him if he know where is it. he said, yes. to make sure he really knows it, i even told him that i wanna go to the etisalat office at the government building. he just nodded and said, “ya, ya”.

but then he made a wrong turning at a junction. i immediately told him that the building is in the opposite direction. he insisted that it’s the correct way. i argued that it’s not correct! apparently there are a lot of “government buildings” in dubai, all with etisalat offices, and the driver was bringing me to a further one! long story short, he had to make a few u-turns (coz that’s how the roads are in dubai, don’t ask me why!) and in the end, DID NOT even bring me to the government building that i wanted to go!

instead, he brought me to an etisalat outlet, along the very same main road and only a few blocks away from my apartment! and the fee came up to 40 dirham! i was so mad!! but i didn’t wanna argue with him coz we’ve wasted precious time driving around in circles and i still need to catch the 11am staff bus to the office!

so i paid up the blardy driver and went into the shop. but then the lady at the desk said i’d need a consent letter from my company, coz i’m staying at the staff accommodation. what the…??? the website didn’t mention anything about such letter. and my colleague in hr made a call to the etisalat office a few weeks back, and wasn’t told of such letter!

so i can’t apply without the letter. but i found out that the outlet closes at 9.30pm. ok, so i’ll just go to the office and get the letter from hr, then come again after work to submit my application. i hopped onto a taxi again to go back to my accommodation and the fee was just 7.50 dirhams! but i have to pay 10 dirhams as the standard minimum charge for taxis. 50 dirhams for NOTHING!

then that night, with the company letter in hand, i decided to WALK to the outlet, coz i reckoned it’s quite near. but i underestimated the distance, and ended up walking for like 30 min! so going home, i hopped on a bus instead. coz i already know where i am and where i’m going, and it’s much cheaper! anyway, upon reaching the outlet, i was told that for my building, i can only apply for the eLife package, due to some fibre optic thingy . eLife is basically a package with a higher connection speed, where they also throw in a lot of other useless “perks” like free 20 min international calls, 8hrs of free wi-fi at hot-spots, caller phone id, bla bla bla… things that i don’t really need. when i argued that my colleagues who stay in the same building are under the more basic al shamil package, the sales person said, “no, that’s from last time. now your building can only take eLife.” blardy hell, the cheapest eLife package is double that of al shamil!

but no choice lor. also have to pay for it if i want an internet connection. but guess what? the next day in the office, when i told my colleague about it, she said that was exactly what happened to her previously! but she was put off by the price and didn’t apply. then later she went straight to the etisalat office in the government building, and was able to apply for the al shamil package. she’s guessing that these outlets earn a commission from etisalat for every eLife package sold, so they tell people that their buildings/area can only go for eLife. argh!!! i’ve been conned!

so that night, i made the trip to the outlet for the 3rd time, on a bus. i told them that i’d called up the etisalat office and was told that the al shamil package is perfectly fine for my building (it’s true, i did make that call), and also, my neighbour had her al shamil installed just last week (not really true). so i want them to change my application to al shamil as well. the guy at the desk (the same one who did my application the night before) said he’s already processed my application and i can’t do any changes now. so i told him if it can’t be switched, i’d like to cancel it. he spoke to his colleague in tagalog for a while, clicked on his computer a few times, then said they’re not able to switch the package coz they only sell eLive at the outlet. what the hell??? instead of telling me that they don’t have the al shamil package right from the beginning, and that i’d need to go to the etisalat office to apply for it, they tell all these bullshit stories about fibre optic crap and that the cheaper packages can’t be installed in my building! if this is not a con job, i don’t know what is… and i nearly got conned too!

anyway, i canceled my eLife package and hopped on the bus to go home again… and you know what? as it turned out, all these merry-go-round was totally unnecessary. because when i called the etisalat office earlier that day, i found out that i can actually apply for an internet connection with just a phone call to them from my etisalat mobile number (with no charge some more!), coz they already have my visa and passport info!

so means i needn’t wake up earlier on the day after my night duty, take that super expensive taxi ride, make 3 to and fro trips to that outlet, walk my legs off for one of those trips, or get a consent letter from my company. heck, i didn’t even have to wait for my residency visa! i could’ve applied for it the very same day i moved into my apartment!

a total waste of time and money and energy! apply for internet also have to be so drama! haiz…

p/s: internet connection will take a maximum of 2 weeks to get installed. so yeah, no connection yet!

could be dead, for all i know!

my phone's been so underutilised that if it weren't for the breather light, i'd really think that it died on me! gone are the days when i get unlimited data usage, where i receive my e-mails when i'm not sitting in front of a computer, log on to facebook when i'm bored, upload photos taken with my phone to facebook in real time, chat on msn, yahoo and gtalk on fring mobile and use the gps when i'm lost! now my phone is only used for making calls, receiving calls and texting. and that also don't happen very often nowadays... i can go for one whole week without charging my phone, whereas previously, i'd need to recharge my phone nearly everyday! seriously, after 7 freaking days, i still have about 1/4 power left! now only i know that my nokia battery can last THAT long...

it’s not all a bed of roses…

actually, i typed out a long post yesterday, but somehow didn’t remember to save it and everything was lost! argh!!! so frustrated… but i’ll try to remember what i wrote and retype it.

ok now, the previous post was for the benefit of my parents. in this post, i’m gonna paint the real picture… I HATE MY APARTMENT!

first of all, i discovered that quite a few things are faulty and not in working order. ok, the few burnt light bulbs are still within the vicinity of acceptable. but i found that the balcony door’s doorknob has broken off. which means i can’t even close the door! the building supervisor said he’s already asked the building maintenance guy to fix it, but as it was a friday, the hardware shop was closed, bla bla bla… so i thought, ok, i’ll just lock my bedroom door when i sleep at night, and it’s gonna be one night anyway. that was when i found out that my bedroom door can’t be locked! heck, it can’t even close properly! letting my imagination run wild, i can just see someone climbing up onto my balcony (on only the 2nd floor) and coming into my room… argh!!! so you all know just how “well” i slept that night, huh?

next, i discovered the shower head is cracked. which means water will be squirting all over the place when i take my bath. and it being my first day there, i hadn’t had time to get a shower curtain yet. so when i took my bath, my whole bathroom got wet again, right after i’ve painstakingly wiped and mopped everything dry! and i do hate a wet bathroom!!

and that’s not all… when i finally worked up the mood to start cleaning my kitchen, the dirtiest part of the apartment, i discovered that the kitchen sink is blocked and water is seeping out from behind the cabinets onto the floor. called the accommodation supervisor, and he sent the maintenance guy again. ok, fine. but when i wanted to continue my cleaning, again i found water on the floor! so again, i called the supervisor to tell him that the drainage is blocked and my kitchen is flooding. and again, he sent the maintenance guy, who came with the black pump thingy. after he left, again, i tried to continue my cleaning, only to discover AGAIN, that there are water on my kitchen floor! argh!!! that’s when i decided to give up, as it was so late already and i really can’t take it anymore.

the next day, saturday, after i got back from ikea, i called the supervisor to tell him that water is still seeping out from behind my cabinets. after complaining about the previous tenant for not reporting all these to him before i move in, he promised to ask the maintenance guy to come again. but he didn’t come, so i called the supervisor again on sunday morning to remind him. the last i checked, the supervisor said that it’s quite a major repair and the maintenance guy will need to schedule a time to take care of it. but he promised me that he’ll do it, as well as replacing some rotten wood at the base of my cabinets. as of today, monday night, it’s still not fixed! haiz…

and i don’t know why, but everything feels so sticky here! even though i’ve wiped and mopped, but still they feel so sticky, especially the floor! maybe it’s because the air-cond is on all the time, so the tiles are always cold, allowing moisture and dampness to collect on them, hence the stickiness? i dunno, but I HATE IT!!!

but wait, there’s more! the worse thing of all is, i discovered cockroaches in my kitchen!!! a lot A LOT A LOT of them! it’s like the headquarters of cockroaches here! disgusting!!! on saturday, i bought a can of insect spray and i think i used up the whole can of it. i had wanted to take a picture of the dead cockroaches that i swept up to show everyone here, but thought the better of it. don’t wanna disgust you guys! but it was really disgusting! i even had a nightmare about cockroaches that night! and it seems that it’s a problem here at the accommodation, coz on sunday, they had a quarterly pest control exercise. but my colleagues said it’s useless, coz the roaches always come back. and so very true! when i came home from work on sunday evening, i saw some dead bodies on the floor, but also, one or two live ones still walking about my kitchen as if they own the place! argh, disgusting!!!

last saturday night, after seeing all the water on my kitchen floor and the yucky cockroaches, i suddenly felt so defeated. everything was so overwhelming, that i cried for the first time since coming here. i hate it that my apartment is so empty, that everything is broken and my kitchen is infested by cockroaches. i hate not having an internet line and having to go down to the common room to connect to the wi-fi, with their couch that reeks of indian hair oil. i hate having to ride in the company bus to and from work like a factory worker, and if i miss it, i’ll need to take a cab to work, which is freaking expensive. i hate it that my shipment has not arrived and i can’t even cook water in my apartment, but have to go downstairs to fill my water bottle. i kept asking why did i put myself through all these?? i was doing ok in kl… why did i want to come here and face all these things?? i miss home, my family and my friends. i miss the apartment i had in kl. i miss driving. everything! heck, i even miss my old job! it was the worse case of homesickness ever! i wanna go home!!! :(

well, that overwhelmed feeling has passed now, but i still hate living here. wrote an e-mail to the accommodation supervisor today, with a copy to the hr director, about all the pending jobs to be done as well as the roaches. so hopefully all these headaches will go away soon!

2 days before departure...

as the date for my departure gets nearer, a lot of people are asking me if i'm excited... surely i'd be buzzing with excitement at the prospect of going off to work and stay in another country.

well, i am! but now, more than excitement, i'm actually in a state of near panic! can anyone believe that i've not even packed my luggages yet??? the moving company is only coming to pick up my stuff for sea cargo tomorrow, and i'm only partially done in packing for those! and other than packing for my flight check-in and sea cargo, i still need to pack up the stuff that i wanna move back to bear hill, give away, donate out as well as throw away... i've already moved back most of the stuff i wanted to keep back to bear hill, but there are still some more stuff that i didn't manage to pack before the lorry man came last wed. so will need to do that as well...

and then i still need to pay a visit to the bank to settle some banking stuff that just can't be settled via phone or online banking, as well as cancelling my phone package plan. oh, and i need to pay a visit to my orthopedic to get extra medicine for my knee condition to last me for a year! can all these be one in one day?? haiz... everything so last minute!!

oh how can one girl have so much stuff??? as it is, my parents nearly had a fainting spell when they saw the number of dvd/vcd i brought home... about 10 of those A4 paper boxes!!! well, to be fair, it's a collection that spanned more than 10 years (since uni days), so that's quite ok what... :P

i guess part of the difficulty in all these packing business is the attachment. we get too attached to the stuff we love and its painful when we need to detach ourselves from them. how simple life would be if we can just pack up our essential stuff into just a knapsack and go? of course, i can't do that as i need to empty out my rented apartment... but on the other hand, i think moving is a good way for us to de-clutter our lives. every time we move, we'll reassess the value of our stuff, stuff we keep thinking that we'll need later on. do i really need this piece of ribbon? is this container with its cracked lid really that indispensable? so a lot of stuff gets tossed out, making room for new stuff! hehe...

but from now on, i'd need to refrain myself from buying so much stuff, seeing that i won't be permanent in sandland. and no one knows more than me how tiring moving is!

ok, ending this post here. sorry if all the sentences and paragraphs are a bit jumbled up and don't have any kind of flow to them. i'm quite stressed out now, even though i'm just gadding about at bear hill doing nothing! so stressed that i've been having difficulty sleeping, with all those things that still need to be done kept playing in my head! :(


read also:
1. leaving on a jet plane!

the silver lining...

the longer i live, the more i believe in the idiom "every cloud has a silver lining". crap happens, yes, but i believe everything happens for a reason. and tho we may feel really bad at the time, there's always something good that comes out of it. even if we can't see it then, the good part will nearly always be revealed later on, if not sooner. so bad experiences are just a platform for the good ones to appear!

staying connected...

is it weird that i seem to find comfort in seeing my friends online in any of the chat application, even when i'm not actually chatting with them? for me, it's good to know that my friends are just a click away, and even when we're physically apart, i'll still feel their presence just by the "green light" next to their profile name... and i find solace in that.

now tell me, am i weird?

packing off for a new land...

it's funny how some people are so surprised when they hear that i'll be flying off to seek my fortunes in another country. i mean, hadn't mankind been doing that since the beginning of time? and yet there are still people who are so afraid (and some even opposed) to this idea...

if u're a malaysian reading this, chances are u're a descendant of an immigrant too! unless u're of the indigenous people lineage, that is... so our ancestors made the move a long time ago. they packed up their belongings, kissed their relatives goodbye and set off for the unknown in search of a better living.

and now, in this time and age, where a lot of things, people and places are not so "unknown" anymore, there are still many who view going to work/stay in another land as something utterly outrageous.

ah well...

read also:
1. leaving on a jet plane!

house vs. home...

it's been more than a month since i moved into my new place... and so far, i've only had 2 visitors! ok, 3 if you count the property agent... and that 2 visitors were my YWD leaders, who dropped by for a home-visitation. so strictly speaking, i've not had any visitors at all! which is truly depressing, really.

sometimes i wonder, would the sentiment be different if it were my own place, and not a rented one? would my close friends be more excited for me then?

i guess unlike our western counterparts, we asians are more realistic. for them, a new place, irregardless of if it's bought or rented, is always a reason to celebrate. they throw parties and housewarmings. guy friends come over to help lift the heavy boxes. girlfriends come over to help with the organizing and decorations (have i been watching too much Sex In the City?). in a way, it symbolizes a new beginning and a new life. but in our asian culture, a rented place is just a "house" where you keep your things and a roof over your head, while your own place is a "home" where you actually live your life... so question: before we are able have our own piece of property to our name, does it mean that we've not really started living? is it because a rented place is not our own, so there's no need for celebration? we're gonna move again anyway, so it's just a temporary arrangement, hence there's no need to get so excited?

but to be fair, the girls are coming over next weeked for a small intimate gathering, so i shouldn't say that no one cares... i guess now that we're not staying under the same roof anymore, it's no longer a friendship of convenience. we need to make a greater effort to meet up and keep the friendship going. a friendship will rot if we only remember our good friends when we're free, or we have nothing to do, or when we need something, or if it's convenient to us... personally, i think a friendship needs commitment too. like in a boy-girl relationship, friendships have emotional attachments too. if the effort is only one-sided, there won't be any tango.

anyway, san and mon, thank you for being such great friends! love you guys! ;)

lame joke...

was telling x about how i replaced lynette in my current company, when lynette got a job offer in dubai 2 years back. then now, lynette is moving on to beijing. so she's asking me if i wanna replace her in dubai.

x: wah, she got ex-bf?

me: har? y? *blur*

x: then maybe u can hook up with her ex-bf lor!

me: =_='''

what's with football anyway?

i'm not a football fan. in fact, growing up, i hated football because every time i'd have to fight with my brother for tv rights when there's a match on. now, i don't hate it that much but i still don't like it!

however, with the world cup going on now, i still seem to know all the scores and goings on in the football field. how come, you may ask? because, all the kaki bola (malay for football fan) on facebook has suddenly become football commentators! every morning, i'll see the final scores of the previous night's games, and also some comments/taunts/opinions being posted up.

but come on lah! is there really a need for that? i mean, anyone who cares would have either watched it themselves or find out about the scores the first thing they wake up. and for those who don't care, what makes you think they'll be interested in your status post? *rolls eyes*

what did u expect?

ok, seeing that i've just had my birthday last week, i guess a reflective post is in order. so here goes...

growing up, i've never really had any expections as to what my life would be. i guess i'm more the "que sera, sera" type. just take life as it comes, what will be, will be. no long term plans. just drifting along and adapt to what life throws me as best i can.

looking back, i've never even imagine what my life would be when i grow up, when i'm 20, 30, 40 years old. i never imagined of what car i would drive, what house i would stay in, what kinda job i'd be doing, what kinda man i'd get married to, etc... ok, i did do some sort of fantasizing, but none involving age. i've never thought, "when i'm xx years old, i'd have a perfect career, a perfect house, a perfect car, a perfect husband, perfect kids bla bla bla..." most of my fantasizes are more like daydreaming kinds. lolz...

anyway, i must say this attitude towards life has it's pros and cons. the pro part is, having no expectations means we will not be disaappointed. and we get to do and be whatever we want, whenever it suits us. there's a whole world of opportunities out there! things that we can't even begin to imagine!

this suits me quite well, me thinks, me being the fickle gemini that i am... one minute i'm thinking of taking off to a faraway land but the next minute, dreaming of getting my own place and finally settling down in a fixed location.

and the con part? well, i guess i'd be seen as someone who is without ambition. and without ambition, we are sorta lost... no directions... failure???

this is how i see it. life without an ambition doesn't mean we have no desire for advancement and to better ourselves. of course we all want better stuff. better jobs, better homes, better cars etc. better everything! i'd say i'm more inclined to living in the present. coz really, who knows what's really gonna happen in the future, 10 or 20 years from now, next year, next month, next week, tomorrow, or even one hour from now, right? i'm not saying that planning for the future is bad. it's just not who i am... that's all.

anyway, i'd like to hear from everyone out there! ARE YOUR LIVES NOW WHAT YOU IMAGINED THEM TO BE? please share... or if you wish to write a post on this in your own blog, please share your link in the comment box!

blogger's block...

been suffering from (or enjoying??? hehe...) writer's block lately. can't seem to string along a complete legible sentence. and been very busy at work these 2 weeks. working non-stop! could be because bossbossboss is back in town, so as usual, we have to go on long meeting marathons... *phew*

nevertheless, the mind is far away. thinking of flying away, to a faraway land. gosh, i need a vacation! thank goodness cny is near. can't wait!

on affairs and scandals...

been meaning to blog about this, but as usual, been procrastinating... anyway, i don't know if it's this company or if it's the trend now, but i find that some of the ladies who work here are real... sluts, for want of a better word.

most of them are married with kids, but their hubbies and children are back in their hometown. so they're like weekend mommies and wives. the rest of the week, they sorta live their lives like bachelorettes in the city. it's fine if all they do are just going out dancing and drinking after work. and trust me, they do that pretty often. ladies nights are never missed!

but what's troubling is that they go out to meet guys! they flirt around and get guys to buy them drinks... some of them even have part-time lovers, whom they'll call up to talk love and flirt over the phone during lunch hours. i'm not sure how far they've gone with these 'boyfriends', but listening to them, it seemed like they're real experts in stringing along those poor blokes! but then again, it serves these 'dirty old men' (at least that's the image i have of these so called 'boyfriends') right! who asked them to be so gatal (malay for 'itchy') to go for married girls? i've always believed in the old chinese saying, loosely translated as, "if the cow refuses to drink, there's no way for you to force its head down to drink"

and it's not like they're discreet about it too! one colleague, dancing daphne, was pretty proud that she has a few boyfriends under her thumb... disclosing about this boyfriend who sponsored her to a slimming program, that boyfriend who topped up her phone prepaid credit, another boyfriend who was surprised at all the weight that she's lost etc. and she even put this saying up as her fb status once:

"Love and Scandal are the best sweeteners of Tea - Cullen Hightower"

looking at them about it, i feel like the married old lady more than them! am disgusted... (at them, not myself!)

slow to boil...

*beware. ranting post ahead*

grrrr... i hate it when some nasty person catch me off-guard, because i can never think up a nice good retort until it's too late!

i find that i'm the 'slow to boil' kinda person. whenever someone did or said something nasty to me, i'll be struck so dumb that all i could do is stand there like a dummy! it's only after the moment has passed and i've had a chance to dwell on the things that have just taken place, that i begin to bubble and simmer. then only i'll think up all the nasty retorts, sarcastic replies and biting comments that are sure to make the person run to mommy with his/her tail between the legs... only thing is, it'll be too late! and i'll be left seething and fuming on my own...

one such incident happened just yesterday. there's this big bully of a director at the resort, henceforth refered to as big bad wolf (or bbw for short). generally people steer clear of him due to his infamous reputation for biting ppl's head off, esp when it concerns his department. even so, i'm generally spared from his fangs, because i'm not directly involved in the workings and operations of the resort. or even when i'm involved in one way or another, he'll never show his belang (malay for "stripes" - here to mean "show true colour") in front of me, because i'm from the HQ.

or so i thought.

it was during the beginning of an event at the resort yesterday, and the guests were having their breakfast at the designated area near the beach. some of our staff from KL are also participating, so instead of just standing around, we tried to help out in any way we can.

one clg, sweet suzie, was helping to distribute the plates and utensils to the long queue of participants at the breakfast buffet line when she noticed that the spoons were running low. spotting me standing nearby, she asked me go look for a banquet staff to replenish the spoons. searched high and low, but i can't spot any banquet staff around. it was then that i saw bbw standing at a corner.

stargal: bbw, do you see any banquet staff? i can't find any staff around. we're running out of spoons.
*short pause*
bbw: (in a cold tone of voice) can you please don't make such general statements?
stargal: ???
bbw: we've been bitching abt the lack of staff since day one. in fact, we're working with only trainees now. by right all the staff should be helping to clear the tables...
stargal: *dumbstruck*

i mean, wtf??? aren't i helping by prompting him (bcoz the banqueting comes under him!) that we should replenish the utensils? would he rather we just keep quiet and buat bodoh (malay for "pretend not to notice"), and let the guests complain abt it? or better still, let the press pick up on it! heck, if i know where they keep the spoons, i'd have gone and get them myself!

and why is he bitching this out to ME??? i'm not the one who cut back on his staff! i'm not the one who used up all the spoons! i'm not the one who wanted this event! i'm not the one who'll benefit from the success of this! what, he thinks i get such a kick out of running around like a headless chicken for these events issit???