my horoscope...

someone forwarded this site to me, which takes the combination of my eastern n western horoscope... here's what it said abt me...

You aren't content to take life at face value; you want to know the "how" and "why" of things. Finding solutions to persistent problems gives you great satisfaction. The year you were born, balloon angioplasty was developed to treat coronary heart disease. Such a breakthrough is characteristic of your own thinking. You often use unconventional methods to get around age-old dilemmas. Serious work of an intellectual nature appeals to you most. You'd make an excellent scientist, surgeon, or lawyer. It may take several years before you reach the pinnacle of your career, but that won't bother you. You're not afraid of hard work, especially if it is performed for a great purpose. A knack for problem-solving could also draw you to a career in government, research, or repairs. So long as you're exercising your brain, your work will be rewarding.

You probably enjoy spending time with friends one-on-one. Big crowds make you uneasy and nervous. Consequently, quiet, reflective people suit you best. Taureans, Librans, Scorpios, and Pisceans put you at ease. Romantically, you need a dreamy, artistic partner with a strong spiritual streak. You like to baby your beloved.

Your greatest challenge is to find work that draws upon your considerable intellect. It may be necessary to change jobs throughout the course of your life as a means to find constant stimulation. Your biggest strength is your creativity. Always look for a new way of doing things; you're too inventive to stick to the tried-and-true.

Profoundly romantic, you are destined to have a rich love life. You are willing to go out on a limb to attract the object of your affection. Love has a transformative effect on you; folks can always tell when there is someone special in your life. If you aren't in a relationship, channel your energy into artistic pursuits. You are probably a great writer and could have great success with crafting dark, brooding stories. Restoring antiques and playing chess are also good ways for you to expend your creative energy.

get ur own horoscope reading at: http://www.tigerbeer.us/horoscope/

cny shopping...

went shopping last sat after work. happy... coz my pants size turun 1 size! kekekeke... looks like scrimping on food has its benefits too! tho' eating homemade sandwiches (wholemeal bread with egg mayo/tuna) for 3 weeks isn't an enjoyable experience...

 

but cny's coming! so excited! dunno y, but we tend to go easy on ourselves during festive season... no wonder i always go back to my original weight after cny. *sigh...

 

anyway, back to my shopping. bought 1 pair of jeans in 'shit green', a white blouse and a pair of beige working pants. was thinking of getting the pink colour one, as pink is the 'in' colour now, but i still can't bring myself to wear pink pants yet! anyway, wanted to buy a shirt for my dad, but dunno how to go abt it, size n colour/pattern wise. when i see a nice shirt, i'll try to imagine my dad in it but somehow i can't. hmm... then those shirts that i can imagine my dad wear, are those that he already has! that's y i can imagine it! hahaha... will try again this weekend. if still can't find any, i think i'll just give him money instead.

 

and got raspberry cheesecake recipe from biow... can't wait to try it out! but dunno when will have time to go shopping for the ingredients. hope to make it this week, as this is the last week my housemate will be here. too bad i have to work tomorrow, coz it's ft day and pj is officially in selangor. nvm lar, selangor had hols last week during thaipusam...

more cake?

hmm... thinking of making another cheesecake. my housemate (the younger one) would be leaving next week, wanna look for work in singapore. and since my last (and first) choc chip oreos cheesecake, she's been pestering me to teach her how to make. teach not like how biow taught me, by giving me the recipe and then answering all my questions online, but really demonstrate it to her...

and anyway, i've been wanting to try making a raspberry/blueberry cheesecake. but prob is, i'm afraid to improvise from the choc chip oreos recipe. dunno how it'll turn out. i know i need to replace the oreos with disgestible biscuits for the base... and also leave out the choc chips... but what abt the lemon? do i still add in the lemon? then would i need some other ingredients not needed in the choc chip? hmm... kinda complicated, these baking stuff...

will see how. maybe just make another choc chip oreos lor...

having diarrhoea today... urgh! seems like i'm most succeptible to food poisoning than any other illnesses. this time, i think it's due to the japanese buffet we (my housemates n i) went for yesterday in farewell for the leaving housemate. i remember the last time i had a major food poisoning, it was due to this japanese buffet too! N n i were attacking the raw oysters like nobody's biz... kekeke... so had to pay for it later the next 2 weeks. N was just ill for abt 3 days, but i had to endure the running to the toilet for 2 weeks! i even fainted twice coming out from the toilet, waking up to wonder y i'm lying on the floor outside my room door. can't seem to keep anything in. gosh, how i hate food poisoning.

but i didn't touch the oysters yesterday. n the rest of my housemates are fine... but luckily it's just a mild bout of diarrhoea, even tho' sometimes can still feel the contents of my stomach riding the roller-coaster. hopefully it'll subside soon.

cny ard the corner...

just another 2 weeks to cny... but somehow, i dun feel the new year mood yet. y ar? maybe coz i'm still here, still need to work hard. i think i'd feel it when i get home...

anyway, heard from mico-san today that a fren's dad passed away. gosh! juz last 2 weeks, it was biow's dad, then now BB's dad... life is really so unpredictable...

well, i've also experienced the death of a loved one near cny, when i was in f4. it was my beloved granny, the person who loved me the most. her death was really sudden. one day she was sitting there, talking to us n planning for cny, and the next day, when i was coming down from my room to go to school, my dad told me granny had passed away! how i cried! no, i literally howled!

anyway, as granny's death was so near cny, according to chinese culture, we can't celebrate cny as we're still in mourning. but ironically, we celebrated it hardest that year. of course, we didn't do much house-visiting to non-relatives' homes, lest some of them pantang... but we had some great family gatherings that year. granny's death brought us even closer together. of course, when our laughters grew too boisterous from our card games or when our voices grew too loud from our conversations, we can always hear remarks like, "if granny were here, she's be laughing until tears come to her eyes!" i think granny would want it that way too, for us to strengthen our family ties n celebrate life in those cny gatherings.

n every cny after that, even tho' it's been so long, memories of granny would be even more vivid in my mind than other times. granny isn't one to join in on our conversations or card games (being a devout buddhist, one can't possibly imagine her sitting down at the gambling table with her prayer beads which, as far as i can recall, never left her hands!), but always liked to sit quietly at the side, watching our games or listening to our jokes n conversations... the image of her, laughing so hard but soundlessly that her eyes would be reduced to just 2 thin lines, always warmed me up. those are the times when i'd miss her most...

well, this year, heard from mom that we'd be going over to JB on the first day of cny, coming back the next day. this is something different, as every year, the gathering's always at my house. as my cousin has just bought a large house in JB recently, my mom thought we should go there to visit my uncle for a change.

anyway, have not bought any cny clothes yet... but then again, i'm not one who's really that particular abt the tradition of wearing new clothes for cny. i remember there was one year where i bought just one blouse for cny, and on the first day of cny too! hahaha...

fingers crossed!

went for the interview today... they asked me to do a DISC test, but the results kinda conflicting... hahaha... must be the gemini twins playing havoc again!

anyway, i think the chances are quite high... it's just that they're not sure when they'll need me. oh, they definitely need ppl, but not immediately. so they gotta determined when they need me, then only they'll get back to me to see if i'm still interested. so like i said, if they need ppl, chances are they'll take me... so keep fingers crossed!

hopefully i get this one, coz really wanna try out this industry, something different from what i've been doing. i'm not even sure if i'll like it, but just give it a try lar. that's y i didn't put down a very high expected salary, just a tiny bit higher than my current. and if they think that's high, i'm willing to start with what i'm getting now...

hmm... what if i dun like it? then hop again lor! kekeke...

sold off my piano...

...at last! i thought i'd never be able to sell it. really owe it to sc for helping me... *phew*

they came to take it today, much to the disappointment of my housemates. they thought it's a real pity to be selling it off, coz i got it at a bargain price and the price i'm letting go is too low. they think i should just keep it. but it's of no use to me now, just another piece of furniture that i have to dust every week. so i guess that's the most sensible thing to do. at least it'll be of better use to its new owner. but i sure will miss it... hope the new owner treats it kindly.

so now my room is back to its 'pre-piano' arrangements. spent the whole day today re-arranging my room. gosh, how can a gal 'accumulate' so many things?

k, i need to iron some clothes for tomorrow's interview now. *sigh... hate ironing!

feeling better...

had a good cry n a good sleep... now feeling not so desolate, more clear-headed.

i remember something someone told me once, that i'm like a little puppy. and for ppl like me, the world will consist of only 2 types of ppl:
type 1 - ppl who goes, "oh, a puppy. must protect n sayang it."
type 2 - ppl who goes, "hey, a puppy! let's take away its bone n bully it. should be fun to watch it suffer!"

how come i'm meeting more of type 2 ppl and less of type 1? *sigh... and how come there isn't any type 3, where they'll just be happy to see n play with the little puppy, as equals, without any obligations to wanna protect it? am i really that weak?

is it me???

i wonder y i'm always the target of merciless insults n teasings... maybe it's my way of acting as the clown of the party, or maybe i'm just not serious enough. maybe i should be more serious with ppl, talk less nonsense, reveal less things abt myself...

was at a clg's wedding dinner today n was teased n insulted mercilessly by the very ppl i consider not merely colleagues, but as friends. E even told me, "it's so long since i had the opportunity to 'shoot' someone. when i see u, i'm so happy, coz at last there's someone for me to 'shoot'" i was speechless when i hear her say that. so i'm always the target lar? so i don't have any feelings lar? so everyone can just 'shoot' me all they like lar? so i'm there for everyone to let off all their frustrations lar?

when they were teasing n insulting me just now, i said jokingly that i'd leave since they dun like me/my attitude/my being late. that set them off even more and they launched threats of 'go lar, y are you still here?' n 'u keep saying u wanna leave, but u're still here. how thick is your face?' n 'you really have no principles. if u say u wanna leave, then u should just leave' etc. really sounds like they hate me rite? that's what i believe too... anyway, i really REALLY wanted just stand up and walk off! but i was thinking abt the consequences. how it'll look to the bride n groom. how it'll affect the mood of the whole evening n spoiling C's wedding dinner, since the function was juz beginning. so i clenched my teeth n just sat there, with a smile pasted on my face... i dunno y i even put up with them. i dunno y i think n consider so many things. should've just stood up n go!

thinking back, i've always been the target for bullies. my family members wouldn't believe it, coz i'm the bossy one at home. but with other ppl, i dunno y i'm so useless, letting ppl step all over me. can anyone imagine, when i broke up with X last time, my dad was guessing it's because of me being too fierce n demanding? heck, i was as meek as a lamb! where's the family support here???

feel like just curling up n having a good cry right now. so desolate n morose... as if the whole world's turned its back on me. abandonment. how long can i last in this hostile world?

gawd... i keep falling into depressions, falling again even before i'm out of the previous one. what is wrong with me??? where have all my joy gone? so tired of everything! i'm like lost in a labyrinth of negativity. turning turning turning... is there no end to it all?

Symbian tech...

Coolness! If everything else fails, i'll still b able to blog from my phone! How abt that? Only thing is i can't set the fonts n colour to it. Ok, dat's a tad demanding, i know. Hehe... Neeways, i still think it's a cool phone, tho i'm still getting a hang of all the functions, esp with symbian! *phew*

another interview...

was called for another interview today, scheduled for monday morning... so took another 1/2 day leave on monday... hopefully i get this one, really no mood to work oredi.