weekending...

have not been blogging much lately... feeling pretty down in the dumps. dunno y, been questioning abt a lot of things in my life, its purposes and meanings...

neeways, off to a long weekend back home, tho' would need to come back to work on wed. *sigh...

here's a list of things to look forward to in the short-term:

1) niece's (cousin's daughter, actually. i call cousin 'che-che', so niece calls me 'ah yee') wedding. can't wait to get together with all the cousins for a good round of gossip and fun!

2) housemates coming down for a one day makan trip. so i'm the official guide... guess i'll be bringing them to the usuals... satay celup, ikan bakar, o-chien (fried oyster), cendol and the likes... have the makan part pretty much covered. now just headache abt the time in between makan. where to bring them??? takkan bring them to see the graves in A'Famosa (the old fort, NOT the golf resort). and it's not like it'll be their first time in m'ca. all the places worth seeing, they've seen it.

3) be a lazy babi at home

4) my first orchestra performance as a cellist next week (i swear i'm not ready, but KK insisted)

well, that's abt it. will be driving home after skating lessons tonight... so now just psyching myself up to face the massive jam later. hope i dun arrive after midnight! *shudder*

p/s: is it considered too much to be bringing back 5 pairs of shoes (not including the one wearing on feet) for a 4 day trip back home? well, one pair will be my skates, so that shouldn't count... still, 4 pairs for 4 days! think i better leave them in the car lest be given weird looks by the family! :Þ

a midnight trip down memory lane...

came back from orchestra prac feeling hungry yesterday, so cajoled my housemates into going out for supper with me. was craving for maggi goreng and milo ais... at first they didn't want to, suggesting that i make my own milo ais. but i argued that homemade milo ais is nowhere near the mamak stall's milo ais. so in the end, managed to whet their appetites for a mamak supper!

then came the discussion on where to go. housemates claimed that the mamak stalls at our area are nothing to shout about. and that led to a 'yummy mamak food' discussion, which in turn led to us talking about our 'mamak days' during uni. so in a flash of insanity, we decided to drive all the way to bangi to visit our old mamak haunts!

well, a lot has changed since we left uni. a lot of makan/hangout place has sprung up. but then again, of course it'd have changed! one can't expect a place to remain unchanged after so many (not that many lar... just a few) years, especially a place in the vicinity of a university with loads of young ppl.

it was really nice going back there. brought back a lot of fond memories. for a little while, we could even make believe that we're students again, out for a midnight chow before going back to our dormitry to continue our studies/assignment/group discussions... had a great time reminiscing about the 'good ole days'. *sigh...

but all too soon, reality beckons... and we had to untangle ourselves from the webs of our past to step thru the vortex into the present.

introverted sensing feeling perceiving

was inspired by fellow-blogger Spot to take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test and one of the things mentioned in the result reminded me of my first year of primary school.

"Organized education is difficult for the majority of ISFPs, and many drop out before finishing secondary education. Their interest can be held better through experiential learning, at which many excel."

i have just started standard 1 and everything was rosy and well. at least that's what i thought... until one day when mrs S suddenly asked to see my father! i was so puzzled... y ar? when dad went to see mrs S, she unloaded all sort of complaints on him - i didn't do my homework lah, i talked in class lah, i didn't pay attention to lessons lah, always daydreaming lah... i was so shocked coz i didn't know i was all that! i mean, mrs S didn't admonish me for those things before this. so of course i didn't know lar... well, dad blew his top when we got home, vowing to pay more attention to my school work from then on.

now thinking back (and after doing that personality test), i realize that i'm just different from other kids. what would have been efficient tutoring for other kids do not apply to me. i know i'm not stupid or anything. heck, i even scored highest in class for maths one semester exam (in std 2, i think), much to the chagrin of the 'smartest' gal in class (and to my own astonishment!).

i guess when i first started proper school, i didn't really understand the concept of the whole thing (despite a somewhat successful year at kindergarten). and i know it's a bit daft to be saying this, but no one really explain to me what i'm supposed to do in class! so most of the time, i'm more preoccupied in 'socialising', talking to the oh-so-many playmates in my class and just dreaming the time away! i must be a really blur kid then! it's really a wonder that i got thru university at all! :Þ

well, things got better after that meeting between mrs S and dad. at least it helped me understand the purpose of that person with the long pembaris kayu rambling at the front! but i realize that all thru my schooling years, i've no much use for those rambling ppl in front. i'm not really the type for classroom learning. even in university, i'd fall asleep in most lectures (unless they're really interesting), but thrived during heated tutorial discussions.

if only they have such personality tests for us all those years ago... then all my 'hidden' potentials would be tapped in a more proper manner and i'd turn out differently? but thank god i didn't drop out of sec school!

during cello lesson...

kk: wow, i'm really impressed! u're a fast learner.
stargal: :Þ no lar. i still can't recognise the name of the notes. so difficult to switch from reading treble clef to bass clef.
kk: yeah, i guess it's a little difficult. but u can still play wat...
stargal: i cheated. i just recognise the fingering for each note.
kk: there's no such thing as cheating in playing music. how i wish all my students are like u.
stargal: *blush*
kk: do u want to go for the abrsm practical exam next year? u can try grade 3.
stargal: har?? erm... i think it's still too early to think abt that now lar. hehe...

weekend at the doorstep

finally managed to slug through the first 3 days of the week... so tiring. but didn't really do much this week. dunno y still so tired. mentally and emotionally exhausted?

lately, find myself with no drive to do anything. it's not that i have nothing to do. in fact, i have loads to do and wish i have more time for all the things i wanna do! but now just no drive to do them.

but oh, it's thursday already! and my week always starts on thurs evenings... which tends to zoom past in a flash and before i know anything, it's sunday evening again and i'll be rushing to finish up my work while mentally working out my time to see if i have any left to iron clothes. *sigh...

so tired...

homeless...

recently, mom had the house renovated. well, it was a good thing on a whole, coz now mom has a bigger kitchen and we have an extra room at the back for guests, as well as a proper store room for dad to keep all his knick-knacks.

but for me, it gave an alienation kind of feeling... coz now it doesn't feel like my home anymore, the home i grew up in. now everytime i go home, i feel more like a guest. i don't even have my own set of house keys! and i'll need to ask mom where she keeps the eating utensils, bedsheets, etc. heck, i don't even have my own room anymore! mom has converted it into a 'spare' room and even cleared out my wardrobe to make way for all the extra pillows and blankets for guests. *sigh...

and dad has made my cactus collection his own, which he'll proudly draw my attention to how well they're growing whenever i balik kampung. he claimed that he tended this little bulb of a cacti (i remember naming it 'obelix') into a big gigantic green blob by talking to it! *raised eyebrows*

ah well... guess i should count my blessings that they didn't throw out any of my stuff, save giving away some of my old clothes. this is how it is when we leave the nest...

welcome...

...again. i know i've moved a lot of times, but just bear with me... and dun ask y! :Þ

anyway, if u're wondering at my choice of url, it's the first piece of cello music i got from the orchestra, and also the first piece that i actually sat down and went thru together with them during combined prac. of course, there's the different movements, but if wanna include those, then the url will get too long!

of late...

have been unwell and croaky-voiced for the past week... that could be the reason for all the other emotions that arose from trifling matters. on days like this, one would wish to just curl up under the blanket and sleep it all away. but alas, the wicked and cruel stepmother that is life would not condone it.