Tuesday 26 October 2004

company convention

been pretty bz with my company convention for the past few weeks... finally the convention is over last sat. here are some of the pics here.


my display team



with GCL, in front of our entrance arch. the 'Display' team double as 'Floor' team later in the night. in other words, acting the role of 'bouncer', walking around looking serious... hehehe...



with CN, the new IT gal. she's the 'Internal Usherette'. leng-lui hor? but i hate standing next to her lar, make me look so short!



looking even shorter with 2 stilt walkers during the pre-event at the foyer, which is of the 'carnival' theme.

girlfriends...

yesterday, i got a phone call from a girlfren of mine from f6, telling me that she's getting married. i was so happy to hear from her! i have this bunch of really good frens in f6 and even after we went to uni, we still kept in touch thru e-mails and phone calls... but after a while, the e-mails and calls got less and less, until at last, when we came out to work, we lost touch totally. or maybe i should say, i lost touch with them totally. they're still keeping in contact with each other, maybe coz they went to the same uni, me to another.

sometimes i wonder if they really saw me as how i saw them. i mean, i met them only in f6, coz i'm from another secondary school and they've known each other since the early years of their secondary school. but when i joined them in f6, i THOUGHT we were pretty good frens... i mean, i'm always 'grouped' together with them n am always included in any of their activities.

but after leaving uni, i stopped getting any word from them. occasionally, i'll get news of them from other ex-classmates, so and so has changed her handphone number, and so and so's e-mail address is no longer active. hey, how come i'm getting all these news from other ppl, when they're supposed to be my girlfrens? *sigh...

then i got news that sw got married last year. i was so disappointed at not being invited, or at least told about it, even tho' some of my other ex-classmates were invited. i mean, it's ok if we dun keep in touch that often anymore, due to work n life n other things... but............ *sigh... dunno lar...

my fren, H, was telling me the other day that he has learnt to depend more on himself and less on his frens. u may be very loyal to ur frens, treasuring n trusting the friendship more than anything in the world, but u'll never know how it is from the other side. how true... well, i guess that's life. things are not always what they seem to be.

hmm... on the other hand, i have a bunch of really really good girlfrens, since our primary school days... yep, we've come a long way! we don't keep in touch that often, coz we're like scattered all over the place now, but we do meet up occasionally during festive seasons or chat on the phone or send some e-mails... and even tho' we dun meet up that often anymore, when we do meet up, we just pick up from where we left off. no awkwardness or shyness... really great to have this bunch of frens!

anyway, i'm very very happy when ss called me yesterday. she even went thru the trouble of calling up my parents to get my contact number. at least SHE thought something of our friendship and wish to share her happiness with her long-lost fren! :)

Friday 22 October 2004

Care2

hahaha... been very very bz this whole week, until no time to post in any new blogs... so now that i'm a little bit free, i'll just blog all at one go! kekeke...

neeways, for all who visit me regularly here... after u've finished reading my latest blog, just scroll down and click on the dolphin banner in my side bar... then u'll be brought to a window where they ask u to click on the 'free click to help'. just click lar... it's free and won't cost u any money, maybe just 5 seconds of ur time... imagine, just 5 seconds and u'll be able to help save marine life! anyway, u can only click once a day, so just remember to click whenever u visit, k!

and if u're free, just surf that Care2 site where u can also take actions for the rainforest, big cats, primates, children, pets, breast cancer as well as stop violence! thanks heaps!

my childhood friend

well, reading b's blog make me miss my most fav and best-loved childhood books, the Anne of Green Gables series by Lucy Maud Montgomery... i feel like bringing my whole series of 'anne books' here to read it again, for the nth time!

b, here's wat my AOGG looks like:




i have the Puffin series, who only published until the 6th book, Anne of Ingleside. god knows y they didn't complete the set by publishing the last two: "Rainbow Valley" and "Rilla of Ingleside". or maybe they did publish, but the bookstores here are always running out of stocks... will look for it the next time i'm at the bookstore. i wonder if they still have the same cover version. i'd hate to have the last two books in a different cover version from my previous 6... hmm...

Tuesday 19 October 2004

over and done with

i think i'm finally healed... i find that i don't think of him that often anymore. even if i do, it's only when i'm comparing him to someone else, and that too, he always ends up the lesser of the two. then i find that my heart don't stop when the phone rings, wondering if it's him, and even when i see his name in the caller id, my heart don't do flip-flops anymore. i also find that i don't keep checking my phone to see if i have any msg or missed calls. and even if there's one, i don't wonder if it's him anymore.

i was chatting with him and mentioned that i'm going to hk next month, so he asked me to help him buy something... but i told him no. part of the reason is coz i'm not converting that much RM to HKD and another part is i don't want it to be an excuse for us to meet. anyway before this, it's always very difficult to say no to doing favours for him. even when i started out saying no, i'll always think of ways to make up later, or try to work something out to accomodate him. but today, i find that i feel fine for rejecting him.

i think, my heart has finally realized that he's not my problem anymore. i dun even like him that much anymore. well, good riddance to bad rubbish! hehehehe...

Monday 18 October 2004

hate ironing!

urgh! ironed clothes until 3am this morning! crazy man... but then, i started at 12am lar...

hehehe... everyone must be asking, y so many clothes until need 3 hrs to iron??? kekeke... coz it's 3 weeks' worth of working clothes. other than hand-washing, wat i hate most is ironing clothes. so i try not to iron every week... until when i run out of clothes to wear, then iron all at one go!

hmm... but kenot like that lar... can die. will try to iron once a week, or at least twice a week. it's so tiring standing in front of the ironing board for 3 hrs!

or maybe i should get wrinkle-free clothes instead!

Saturday 16 October 2004

still obsess!

oh gawd... my frens in my skating group all bought their own skates... except for me!!! how depressing! so envy... *sigh...

hey, i'm not kiasu ok??? nothing to do with kiasu-ism here...

Friday 15 October 2004

HK trip

yay! just got news that we'll be extending our stay in hk for another 3 days... so happy!

innitially, our trip was only for 5D4N and we'll be going to shenzhen n zhuhai as well... making our time in hk too short. so my hk uncle called us, asking us to extend our stay for a few days. then yesterday, dad sms-ed me that he's managed to change our flight back to kl to a later date! so after the tour proper, we'll be staying on for another 3 days in hk on our own. hopefully my cousins will have time to bring us round... can't wait!

and erm... a confession to make. i just blew my plan B over a luggage bag.

Thursday 14 October 2004

laundry pilling up...

urgh! my washing machine is down for nearly a week now... been trying to get someone to come and fix it, but still can't reach the repair man. hmm... if this goes on longer, i'll need to bring my laundry to the cleaners...

when the washing machine died on us, my housemates immediately went into 'hand-washing mode'... but i tak kuasa lar... call me lazy, but after a long day at work, i can't think of squatting in the toilet hand-washing my clothes. not to mention how time-consuming that would be!

n to think that i used to hand-wash during my uni days... hey, i even hand-wash my jeans back then! crazy hor? now, i get tired even thinking abt it!

Wednesday 13 October 2004

savings plan B

there wasn't even a plan A! hahahaha...

ok ok... here's my savings plan:
1. can only spend RM10 per day on meals.
- i find that i spend too much on meals. i dun even bat an eyelid when dishing out RM50 for just one meal!!! crazy!!! this has got to stop!

2. write down every sen i spend in a day.
- this will help me see where my money is going... and then cut down on unnecessary things...

3. put aside a fixed amount of money every month
- ...then die-die survive on the remainder after deducting all the expenses.

gotta be more disciplined with my finances... so that i can save enuf money to buy my skates!!! kakakakaka... yep, still obsessed with it!

Tuesday 12 October 2004

obsession...

ok, i'm yearning for a pair of skates, so much so that it is now an obsession! gosh... thinking... thinking... thinking... i think abt it night n day, when i'm driving, at work, in the shower,... even in my sleep!!!

n i keep checking my bank account, checking my credit card account... is it worth to blow my savings on a pair of skates? can i pay for it without incuring more debts? urgh!!! it's so frustrating...

all these while, i've been using the skates provided by the rink. but according to my coach, if we wanna think long term, it's better to get our own skates coz it's more comfortable n will help us in our balancing. the skates provided by the rink are of a lower quality and it's for the public, those who just come in to skate for fun. furthermore, owning our own skates will be more hygienic...

but i know if i buy it, loads of ppl will start nagging at me! *sigh...

still thinking........................

Monday 11 October 2004

dad's the best!

hehehe... i just 'manja' my way into getting dad to sponsor me for our HK trip! kekeke... so happy! and one thing great abt my family is no one's jealous abt it! i mean, bro can always demand that dad sponsor him as well... but he didn't. in fact, mom n bro are very supportive abt the whole thing! ain't my family the greatest? hehehehe...

well, the trip's one whole month away, which means i gotta work really hard till then so that i can afford to take the week off... can't wait!

hehehe... seems like i'm going for lots of vacations this year!

v(^.^)v

Friday 8 October 2004

rush rush...

hmm... been pretty quiet here in my blog lately... this has been a really bz week for me... when i was driving to work this morning, i was reflecting abt my week: "wow! so fast friday oredi! where have the week gone?"

i found that i'm constantly rushing... rush to work, rush to RC, rush to ice-skating... but wat i hate most is rushing home to WORK everyday. urgh!!! the end of the day should be a time u look forward to, where u know u'll be going home to relax and unwind. maybe watch some tv or read some book or listen to some music. or maybe on the way back, u'd want to pop into some cafe for some drinks or drop by at ur fren's to exchange some news... but nnnoooooo... i'm forever rushing home to work. wherever i am, whatever i do, at the back of my mind, there's always this nagging voice that keeps reminding me i still have work undone. constant nag nag nag... urgh!!! really hate it!

the only time i'm not rushing is when i'm in the office! now, isn't that an irony??? maybe i should reflect on my job! hahahahahaha...

but with our company's convention round the corner and the magazine at its last stage b4 publication, things are beginning to 'liven' up a little! luckily my boss has yet to demand that i work overtime. if i have to work overtime, then it'll be more rushing for me!!

*sigh... is there NO WAY out of all these?

Monday 4 October 2004

searching...

went for our K convo meet last weekend... glad to see that some of the juniors have really grown (in faith lar...). really happy to b back among them. it really brings back a lot of fond memories of my student days... and being back in the student house always make me miss my doggie :'(

after the meet, went for supper with M and W. had a good talk with them, abt the directions of our careers and life. W seemed to have a very clear objective in life. well, he's always the 'big bro' in our batch, so that's no surprise. as for M, she's resolved to start thinking seriously abt doing her MBA, something she has been putting off for so many years. now, she's really sure that she wants to go into marketing, so she'll look into majoring in marketing for her MBA.

as for me, i'm still blur abt where i'm going. still the lost one. up until now, i've been putting off thinking abt my life, where it's heading, what values am i creating... but now, really have to think abt it. if not, i'll just be drifting along... until one day, i'll realize that i've wasted my life away without achieving anything. i told them that my present job is not what i want to do with my life. i don't want to be doing this thing my whole life. i don't see any value in my current situation. so they asked me what i want. the problem is, i don't know what i want. i just know what i DON'T want.

still on the subject of careers, we touched on the subject of prayers. a lot of leaders told me that i need to have a more specific prayer, to always pray for what you want. but i how can i be specific when i myself don't know what i want? so W told me (very seriously) that my specific prayer would be to have the wisdom to see what i really want. yeah, when i come to think of it, that really makes sense, doesn't it? so stupid to not see that...

so i've given myself a time frame, to search for what i want to do in terms of career. i know that i want to be more involved in gakkai, coz i've been sleeping for so long. but i'm not able to do that coz i'm doing 2 jobs. i really need the extra cash. but at the end of the day, what am i left with? perpetual fatigue, no money, no time, no life. i'm not creating any value with my existance.


sad to say, i've been too caught up in my worldly pursuits, that i've lost sight of many things. that's y i need to go back to my basic point of life: Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. i need to see what is important. here, i'm not saying that earning money is wrong. we're still humans; we need food, clothes, shelter, material stuff... we have our own earthly desires... but in the midst of our pursuits, we need to determine what is valuable and what is not. we can't just follow blindly.
i've been out into the world and seen many things. there are indeed many kinds of people out there. my colleague once said that i'm like a fresh flower, protected in the green house, unaware of all the complexities in the real world. hmm, dunno... maybe she's rite, maybe not. i mean, i know that ppl can be really mean, i know abt the cruelties of life. i'm not ignorant, you know. it's just that i still have faith and hope in the world and in ppl. call me naive, but i believe there is goodness in everyone, no matter how hopeless someone seemed from the outside.
hmm... i'm rambling here. what has this got to do with my career? dunno... just that lately, i've been getting myself more involved in gakkai and seeing the ppl there, their spirit, their whole attitude towards life, it really set me thinking abt a lot of things... abt my life, my career, the ppl around me, society... abt life itself. i must say going back to gakkai, i feel as if i've arrived home. this is where i WANT to belong. pray that i don't go astray again...

Saturday 2 October 2004

mom is so cool!

hehehe... i told mom abt my latest fad: ice-skating! i was prepared to get an earful from her abt saving money and stuff... but guess what? she only said 'as long as u're happy lorrr'... kekeke... so cool huh? v(^.^)v

but i suspect her 'support' is due to my break up with my X. i told her abt his swineness and she must have been very sakit hati that her 'lil baby kena played out like that. she must have sensed my suffering, even though i didn't show it to her. so now she's very supportive when she knows i'm having fun... excessive spending is better than having my heart broken by some swine rite? kekeke... at least i'm happy :Þ


neeways, bum hurt like hell today... fell down twice on the ice yesterday! hard!!! *sigh... still trying to get used to be on the ice, finding my balance... feel so clumsy! i must go for practice more often...