of dears and darlings

since becoming housemates a long time ago, i have started calling my good friend N as 'ling' and she'll call me as 'dear'. 'ling' is a pet name her family members used on her and also short for 'darling', and 'dear' is... well, dear is just dear.

for anyone who doesn't know us well enough n heard us calling each other such 'endearments', they would think that we're a couple. even N's mom at one time was worried that her daughter might have taken a preference to gals! luckily that misunderstanding was sorted out when N got herself a bf. now even N's younger sister have taken to calling me 'dear' sometimes!

anyway, i don't really mind what ppl think of us. we're just very good friends, period. y let the eyes of narrow minded ppl mar our friendship and make us refrain from showing innocent affection in public?

it's amusing to see ppl's reaction to our hand-holdings and drink-sharings (oh, and the endearment-callings!) it's even more interesting when we're out with N's bf. all 3 of us will be walking hand in hand (with N in the middle, of course).

but sometimes, i do wonder what ppl, esp ppl we know, thought at the sight of us. and i think many orchestra ppl would be wondering at our r/ship too, but too polite or shy to ask!

happy kk day...

other than xmas, today is also kk's anniversary. during orchestra practice yesterday, saw some kk gals in the dorm... they're staying overnight. and also some outstation kk members as well... i know they're outstation coz they're still wearing the cloth 'nametags' that kl kk members have long ago discarded. hehehe... so cute, seeing them wearing those... brought back lots of sweet memories.

anyway... only found out that they were having a general meet. forgot that the last time was in 2000 and it's a 5 year event.

so sad... coz this time i'm no longer part of them. everytime i think abt this, i'll feel sad. kk is like a part of my childhood. i practically grew up in kk!

i still remember when i made the decision to leave kk... i wrote an e-mail to biow, telling her of my decision, tears flowing down the whole while.

*sigh...

panic! panic!

up until now, i've still no idea what i wanna buy for the gift exhange tomorrow! *pulling hair*

used up my whole 1.5 hrs of lunch time today, skipping lunch, to walk around suria but still can't find anything! bought the 'stand-by' gifts tho', for those who come without any gift, complete with cute wrappers...



but i've no freaking idea what i wanna buy to represent me! i've thought of taking the easy way, just buying chocolates. it's unisex enough. now tell me who won't appreciate a box of chocolates, huh? but it's so unoriginal. it's like buying a mug or a photo frame... so boring! *sigh...

even tried 'stealing' ideas from ks during our sms-conversation just now. he said he bought a clasical cd. hmm... something to think abt. but i'm not the cd-buying kind. and i dun think most of the ppl would appreciate my brand of music anyway...

*pulling back on thinking cap* how abt buying stuff that i like? it'll be like sharing a part of me with others! BUT most of the things that i like are cute stuff... what if a guy got it?? deco stuff? so unpractical...

think i need to do another round of walking ard the shopping mall for inspiration. but midvalley on xmas eve??? *shudder* should i sacrifice my beauty sleep to beat the crowd by going there at 10am?

'tis the season to be jolly...

tra la la la la..... nothing lar. juz wanna put up some christmas deco here...





will be stuck in KL this xmas, coz have practice n rehearsals for 1st jan performance. but it's ok lar, can do my own stuff here... oh, and gco will be having a small christmas celebration after prac on sat! i helped a bit in the planning... hehehe...

here's wishing everyone good cheer n joy this yuletide season!

new look

finally had my hair cut and highlighted...

photography

these were taken by bro. pretty good, ain't it?









more of his works can be viewed here, tho' some were taken by me. he just touched them up a little, reduced the 'noises' (a photography term he's drummed into me) and whatnot. oh, and i just discovered that i was a 'model' in one of his pics! :Þ

Fallen

The rain continues to pour, and in a way, she is grateful for it. At least no one will notice the tears, now running down her face in earnest.

Her feet moving on its own accord, she stares unseeingly ahead into the rain, oblivious to her clinging clothes and stringy wet hair pasted on her forehead. At one point, a man with an umbrella offers to walk her but she pretended not to hear him and walks off as if in a trance. She turns into a quiet sidestreet to get away from all the people.

His voice still ringing in her ears, their conversation plays over and over in her head. Once again, he’s stood her up. She’s lost count of how many times he’s done that to her. This time, he didn’t even try to make up a more valid excuse nor did he care that she’s stranded at some place in the middle of the night.

“Are you on your way back?” That’s all the message he cared to send, after she rejected his call. If anything happens to her, she hopes he’ll regret treating her like a piece of rag. She hopes something DOES happen to her. Images of her mangled body lying in the monsoon drain played before her eyes, or her unrecognizable face looking out from the bloody gauze cloth covering her whole head at the hospital. Would that be enough to call forth remorse and guilt from within him?

From behind her, the headlights of a car illuminate the stretch of road in front of her as it approaches. She hears it slowing down and moments later, it draws up beside her. A bunch of rowdy guys, all with a bottle of beer in their hands, lean out the window to offer her a ride. She hesitates, but for just a moment. Then she reaches for a beer bottle from one of the guys and climbs into the back seat.

juz ard the corner

christmas lar... but this year, dun really feel the xmas mood. even suria klcc is using the same deco for the hari raya/deepavali celebrations. cutting cost??

was planning to go to s'pore with cousins, maybe 1 week b4 xmas, just to suck in the mood on orchard rd. but plans have been scrapped to save for hk trip next year. so have to just spend a boring xmas/new year here... wonder if i'll be invited to any xmas party this year? but since xmas eve is on a sat nite, most prob i'll be at orchestra practice. wonder if we can whip up a tiny celebration after prac juz for the sheer fun of it, with give exchange n some carolling? should i suggest???

disheartened

is it very foolish to go on holding steadfast the beliefs that there are still righteousness, compassion, conscience, love, justice etc left in this world, and be smacked again and again in the face by the harsh realities of life? or would it be better to just let go of any hope for humankind, and enjoy the satisfaction (albeit a bitter one) that we've been right all along while standing amidst the rubble of our own destruction?

the longer i live, the more ugliness i see in ppl... am beginning to loose confidence in the species. it is so hard to keep our convictions untouched when all the ugliness are kept being thrown at us. sometimes, it's so overwhelming that i just want to scream and scream, until it all go away.

is there any goodness left?

on shoes...

someone told me once that looking for a partner is like shopping for shoes. first, we'll look for the pattern and colour that we like. meaning we'll notice its appearance first. then we'll try it on... is it comfortable? does it look good on us? does it go with the clothes we have in mind? then we'll consider the price. if it's worth it, if we think what we're buying is value for our money, then we'll dish out the moolah quite readily. but if after making the purchase, we found out that it eats into our feet and gives us blisters, of course we'll discard it and go buy a new pair!

but in certain cases, we'll feel reluctant to discard it, coz we really like the colour or whatever that attracts us to it in the first place, or maybe we've paid a lot for it that throwing it away seems like a big waste... whatever the reason, sometimes we still continue to wear it even tho' it's making us miserable...

hmm... a clever analogy, don't u think?

but y is it that everytime i find a nice pair of shoes, shoes that's so comfy and nice that it seemed tailor-made specially for me, i must face the disappointment that it's already someone else's? am i destined to go barefoot then? how far can one walk without a good n reliable pair of shoes?

Music Fest

some pics taken on the 2nd day of the fest. here's me in action...


after finale, listening to congratulatory messages...


after the fest, with some gco gals...