Monday, 23 October 2006

taking it all in my stride, come what may...

ever since the beginning of this year, i've been feeling really down in the dumps with my job. every morning, i'll be dragging my feet to work, hating every moment of it. i feel like a different person all together when i'm in the office, and i hate that person! not a single working day will go by without thoughts of resigning...

last week was particularly torturous... my emotions were like a storm, ready to burst at the slightest provocation. i've even typed out my resignation letter, ready to 'throw the white envelope' at any moment. and more than twice, i nearly did it!

also, i've been frantically searching for vacancies elsewhere, making enquiries... i've even decided that i'll do freelance full time as a last resort!


but over the weekends, i slept on it and really gave it a good thorough thought... and i chanted for the wisdom to make the right decision. while chanting, i looked deep within myself... and saw very clearly the decision that i should make.

to cut a long story short, i've decided to stay on until i complete my contract in apr. and in this 6 months, i will give my very best in my work, to really challenge myself. if i were to leave now, it'll be doing things halfway, rite? and i'm sure wherever i go, this problem would still be plaguing me. so i need to break free...

after this decision, i felt so liberated! it's as if a heavy weight has been lifted from my shoulders and all the fog has cleared. i was even looking forward to come to work this morning, dengan penuh semangat, even tho' i had to submit my mid-year performance review today! and on thurs will be my review session with my manager... it's gonna suck, i know, but i'm ready to face it. somehow, it all don't seem so daunting anymore.

so, that's that...

2 comments:

biow said...

what a brave decision.. gambatte desune!

stargal said...

thanks! performance review today... waiting...

ganbarimasu!