yesterday, you reinforced my conviction
i really mean nothing to you
however much i wanted to hurt you with my words
i know it's all useless against the unfeeling you
you talked about forgiveness
but i can never feel that for you
i'm only human
i'm more a believer of karma
the unforgiving law of cause and effect
be sure of it, it'll come back to you eventually
what goes around, comes around
i'm just dying with impatience
for the divine intervention to manifest itself upon you
pray i'll be there to witness it
but you want to talk about Jesus Christ?
i can talk Jesus Christ with you
even He would not forgive a sinner who do not repent
they only burn in hell
just saying sorry doesn't mean you're sorry
and i'm only human
or maybe you want to see it scientifically?
ask Albert and he'll tell you:
"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction"
do not compare me to her
i am who i am
i feel differently from her
i love differently from her
i hate differently from her
and what affected me, affected me differently from her
if i am just like her, i'd be her clone
i'm sure even her twin is not exactly like her
so do not look at me with the same eye as you do her
yes, i have my expectations
what is so wrong in having expectations?
what is so wrong in hoping?
what is so wrong in living passionately?
what is so wrong in putting our whole heart into it?
yes, we fall harder
but the view while soaring is spectacular
would it suffice to just lead a mediocre life?
missing the highs in our effort to avoid the lows?
and yes, i'm weak
but that is not your problem anymore
i would never let you off the hook
in believing that everything's ok in the end
or the harm you did wasn't all that bad
can something broken be whole again?
i will always hold it against you
you owe it to me
this life and the next
lifetime after lifetime
remember this to your dying day
- you ruined me
8 comments:
Wah... impressing...
you wrote it?
I hope mine and your x kena the karma kau kau one fine day! aarggghhh!!!
aiyoo.. what happen? hugs.. good riddance to bad rubbish.. grr..
all my own words, words that i couldn't speak in his face... *sigh...
thanks, biow...
:-O what time of the month now? come here... *hugs, looks in the eyes* you'll be alright, ok? chant to expand your life condition and capacity to love (again, eh...not with him). :)
thanks chi. i know i have the capacity to love again, but i'll be changed forever by this.
i am THE last person with any right to say anything on this topic. but, i am a kaypohchee, and your commentbox invited me.
i'm sorry for the hurt you must be going through. yes, you will be forever changed by this, in that you will be either:-
1) bitter and cynical/suspicious or
2)strengthened from having survived the pain/loss and more...que sera sera (can't think of a word to describe).
the choice is there, but it will take incredible will-power to drag your heart back in step with your mind.
behind the numbing heartache and the uncontrollable tears, i suspect your mind's voice is telling you that you're worth so much more, and that it is HIS loss.
breathe. and keep focussing on that voice.
spot, all kaypoh-chees are welcomed. and thank god for them!
"...you're worth so much more, and that it is HIS loss"
how often have we been told this at the end of a relationship. it's because there's no other way that we're being 'force-fed' this sour-grape positivity.
anyway, i'm not sad over losing him. i'm SO over that... like biow said: "good riddance to bad rubbish!" it's just all the cheating and deceiving and lying that's eating me. and him making it all like just a stroll in the park. heartless unfeeling SWINE!!!
but thanks for your insight. yes, i'm bitter n cynical, but only towards HIM. i suspect i always will be, tho' never towards life and all the possibilities out there.
y sacrifice a whole forest because of a bent, infected and ugly old tree, rite? all we need to do is chop it down and use it for firewood! now if only i can find that darn axe.....
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